Stop Pushing: Trusting the Timing of Life
What if we stopped forcing our way through life? Embrace the small moments and trust the timing.
We are born and raised in this urgency culture. A culture that embraces hustle, burnout, lack of sleep, disease and overdriven nervous systems. This cultural system also overthrows deep cellular nourishment, deep connection with others, constant growth and evolution, and things that bring joy, inner healing and self-discovery.
What’s the real reason we force our way through life?
I can think of a few reasons… I know for me these led at the forefront of my 20’s. We’ve been misguided. We don’t trust the process of life, we certainly don’t surrender to something higher than ourselves, and we feel like the small moments or action steps are meaningless. We’ve never truly known how to nurture and discover ourselves. We don’t build a strong foundation with our values and priorities. It seems we are incapable of accepting where we are in our lives if we’re not where we think we should be. Life is meant to be rushed, forget about patience and compassion.
A big period of my life was spent in the void. I remember being so confused as to what I meant to DO in this life. What's my next move? What was my purpose? How can I create an impact? How can I create money!?
I probably spent the better of a decade trying to figure it out. I started several different businesses, took a lot of courses, travelled around the world and moved to 5 different cities. I felt stuck... ALL THE TIME. I was so unfulfilled and just discouraged about my future (yet because of who I am, I felt hopeful something would pull through)
My mind kept telling me the next shiny thing would be THE thing that would remove the pressure from my body. The transition felt like forever, because it was...
And I look back at it in hindsight, and I could have done things differently, and made it easier on myself. Less judgment, more love, less trying new things more self-discovery, less urgency culture, more of a soft life.. less thinking people were so much smarter than I was, more looking at what qualities were already there.
I was fighting, I was in constant battle with myself.
It took me a lot of time to learn how to recognize and handle resistance, the importance of embracing the journey, and the power of letting go of the pressure to be ahead of where I'm at. I was so forcefully trying to create a life that wasn't me. I didn't know who I was to my core. The question was never, what am I meant to do in this life? But more, WHO am I meant to be?
We spend the better of our childhood learning about the world, and others. But we never really learn about ourselves, about nature, about universal Truths, about God or about fulfillment.
I know you desire to be further along than you already are, but pushing and fighting against it will not make you further ahead than where you currently are. What can you appreciate about your current situation? Or What can you appreciate about yourself in this moment of time?
The void is something to be embraced, especially when it comes to growth. This is such an opportunity to evaluate your life, your business and your goals. It's an indication that there's a misalignment happening somewhere. That the hose of happiness/fulfillment will still have a kink in it if you don't take a look at this. It's such an important time to pause, and to stop forcing things to happen, if they are meant to, they are meant to.
On a more personal note, life has been a bit transformative as of late. I’ve welcomed in the past 2.5 weeks, 6 foster kittens: Theo, Louis, Sage, Saffron, Buttercup and Bluebell.
Buttercup and Bluebell have arrived yesterday. This is a goal I'm sure I've never shared with anyone but I’ve wanted my cat sanctuary for decades. This is the first step to making that more of a reality for me, and I'm excited about it. I’ve been really happy with having all of them here. After the first week, I had to say Goodbye to Theo and Louis because they were headed to their forever homes. And of course, I cried my eyes out watching them go. Even though, I knew it was meant to happen this way. I’m the transition between where they are, to where they are meant to be. I trust that as the goodbyes become more, I will be less emotional about it. I get to care for them, give them a safe and warm environment and lots of love (and kisses). And that makes me happy! On a not-so-positive note, I’ve been taking care of my Nana’s Dog Roxy since she’s been at the extended care… and Roxy was not doing good. She was coughing, not breathing properly and bloated like a balloon. On Monday morning, off to the emergency vet we go… we found out Roxy has congestive heart failure, so another crying session for Stephanie. It's a madhouse here, with 3 cats of my own, 4 foster kittens and a sick dog, I've got my hands full. Roxy is receiving diuretics and heart medication to help make her feel better, and I must add just for shock factor... the vet also drained her 800ml or 3.2lbs of fluid to help relieve her lungs and body. Which is quite mind-blowing given Roxy is a small Terrier who weights about 22lbs. We are in the hope that she will be with us for another couple of years. After a whole week, she's already improved significantly, seems to be breathing better and eating A lot more food. All positive signs!
There is a trending audio clip on Instagram that some pet owners are using to describe how they view their relationships with their animal companions.
Instead of calling it pet ownership, they suggest the relationship is different — perhaps one of a guardian or attendant.
A Kahu. 1
And let me tell you, this week, I have embraced this title.
There has been a lot of crying, and I expected it for myself, changes are not always easy and they can be difficult… but I'm always of the belief that things get to work out in the end. Both my husband and I also got sick with a sore throat, fever and body aches during all this change (does it surprise anyone?) Every time we are sick, I feel like it’s a blessing. It reminds us of our health and how important it is to take care of us. It also reminds us of what is truly important, we usually take this time to reevaluate what we truly desire out of this life, what we are drawn to, what makes us happy and feel fulfilled.
Amongst all of the chaos that has been this week. We received a piece of Christmas miracle that we were not expecting. One that has just changed the trajectory of my life, and I know of my husbands. It’s been such an abundant two weeks, even if things have not been going our way. And so I pray that you allow the Christmas miracles to happen in your life. Most time we are so resistant to the idea that maybe it can work out for us, even when things don’t seem like it.🤍
Sending lots of love,
Steph
Contemplations: Where is it in your life that you force things? Because overdoing it, overdoes it. Which moments can you embrace today? How can you slow down even just for a moment, and be grateful for the things you do have? Do you find yourself trying to make someone else love you? Are you trying to push for the promotion? Or the sales? Are you trying to be something you not just so you can feel more successful? Or even happy? Are you trying to do too much because you feel like if you don't you're running out of time? Are you busy in your life because you don't want to face the feelings you have? What about in business, are you trying to force content just to push content? Are you forcing a new product line, a new service or keeping old products/services because the world tells you to? Are you constantly pushing innovation without being so grateful and in awe of what you created already? Are you following the trends so much, you've forgotten who you are and why you started your business? Are you caught up in the metrics, and force a lot of stats instead of going at it with your heart? What are the things that come easy and naturally to you? Why did you feel the pull to start this new thing? (Ps: no one ever said being a business owner was going to be easy, but these are important questions to look at.)
This is a practical tip, if you find yourself saying things like: “Wow, where has the day gone by?” or “It’s already 4pm!” … it means you’ve been on hustle forcing mode. This is the perfect moment to stop, take a breath and ask yourself what you desire to do next. What is this future version of you saying in this moment. Do you need to breathe, and ask yourself what you’d like to focus on for the afternoon or evening?
https://nparish86.medium.com/call-me-kahu-7e4dfcf2e6ae