The Hustle Myth: How I Let Go of the "Boss Babe" Life to Find Myself.
What a nightmare: That time I cold messaged 1000 people...
Let me tell you a story…
In the summer of 2020, I was heavily into building my network marketing business. I followed all the rules, tips, tricks, and of course all the scripts. I went to all the events (mostly in the USA while I’m in Canada) so I could learn from “the expert”. My affirmations (also a bunch of bull) were; I am a millionaire! I’m a strong independent woman! I got this!
This was my logic, I’ll cold message everyone on my LinkedIn list, and I’ll add a bunch of new people, and I’ll get a bunch of leads and I’ll make a lot of money. Here we go! Cheers to the hustle.
In the month of July, I messaged a total of 1000 people in about 20 days, yes that’s an average of over 30 people a day, all cold messages. I did everything the experts told me to do. I even posted almost every day on my social media and commented on many posts to create a “connection”.
What a nightmare it turned out to be.
I thought it was what I had to do to be a boss babe. To be successful. To make an impact. To make a difference!!!
Ha! I still remember buying a book entitled “Everyone communicates, few connect” by John C. Maxwell. And I used it for my agenda.
I was convinced this was the only way I would see my worth. Feminism pushed me right into my ego. And social media reinforced it all and kept me stuck in this loop of misery.
Ego has a way of triggering my favorite flavors of suffering: overwhelm and disappointment (even to this day, I really must keep an eye on it). It zooms into my fears, doubts, and anxieties using them against my heart. The deep seeded feeling that I need to do more to prove my worth. My ego compared where I was with the big names that made thousands of dollars or even 6 figures a month.
Subconsciously I couldn’t help but feel inadequate for trying so hard to have zero results. And I mean zero, I had a thousand conversations, followed the script, and invited them to watch the video… and not one person was stupid enough to fall for my shenanigans (I can’t imagine why). I was chasing the dreams, chasing the lifestyle, and chasing the feeling. And my false self was coming out to play.
And at the end of the month, when I felt so unhappy with my life, I gave it up. In a blink of an eye, I knew I couldn’t keep this up, I had to enjoy my life now. I spend the rest of my summer at the lake, and not on my computer. #Bliss.
But even today, those tendencies still show up at times. And it shows up in the areas I don’t want them to show up, in my relationships, in my passions, in my vocations, and in my most precious currency, time.
Feminism has been a strong NO for me since the day I left network marketing, at the time I couldn’t do the “Boss Babe” or “building a business” narrative anymore. I felt so miserable all the time, and I knew this was not the life I wanted to live. But why was I so compelled to do this… like a pull I couldn’t control.
Social media kept me stuck in a world of more.
I did everything the feminists told me to do.
Be on heavy birth control and sleep around as much as you want.
Have a bachelor’s degree (or several degrees).
Get a corporate job (To climb) and don’t forget the side hustle.
Live in a beautiful four-bedroom home with a big yard (that you won’t have any time to spend in because you’ve got a career to slave to).
Have a nice SUV and upgrade every few years.
Focus on career, not relationships.
Honestly, it was all bull crap that benefitted everyone but me.
What a lie we’ve been propagated. What I’ve come to realize, is that women were never designed: to hustle, to be like men, to act like men, to make money like men, to sleep around, to climb corporate ladders, to focus on a career instead of relationships…
And It’s okay to want to create income, and it’s okay to feel passionate about a job. And it’s also okay to have a family, stay at home, and care for relationships.
And I also noticed that it’s like we forgot that our bodies are beautifully created for birth: babies, creation, art, depth, love, passion…
We were always meant to do things differently, and this statement brings me so much hope and happiness as the world is becoming more analogous. The way society has pushed women to become more like men is gross. It truly is!!
It takes away our magic, our femininity, and our magnetism. It takes away everything that makes us women, and maybe that’s why in North America now, we have a hard time defining what a woman is. For a while made me angry, but now it makes me sad because we’ve gone so far from our true selves, our intuition, our wombs, and our essence.
It’s been a healing journey letting go of all the beliefs, teachings, and pushes from the women who heavily promote feminism. Somatic healing, awareness, writing, and Kakao have been some of my greatest blessings during the unfolding of my true self. It’s been a breath of fresh air, and the scariest release I’ve ever had to go through. I promised myself that happiness, health, and love would above all be the deciding factor in the next steps.
From this moment on, it gets to be everything we’ve desired it to be. Permission to let go of the things you hate or dislike… the things society has told you you must do to be successful, worthy or loved. Permission to let it all melt away, and unlearn all the things…
Thanks for being here with me. I appreciate you more than you know.
Contemplation: How can you learn from my mistakes? What lesson do you see that maybe I’ve overlooked? What permission are you waiting for in order to be your best self? What do you appreciate most of the lesson you have learned so far?