The Beauty of Letting Go: Finding Joy in What Already Is.
What If Happiness Was Never Meant to Be So Hard to Find?
Surrender isn’t about giving up. It’s about letting go of the need to control every little detail of life and trusting that, somehow, everything will fall into place. The more I trust, the more I’m amazed by how things unfold in ways I never expected.
Life has an interesting way of teaching lessons and fostering growth. Sometimes, it feels like I’ve lived through four (or maybe even 5) different lifetimes.
First, there’s the indoctrination period, where I believed the world was exactly as I had been told. Then comes the phase of “choosing” my career (which has changed now over a dozen times) and purpose based on the limited understanding of the life I formed in childhood. Third - the awakening of something is off—a realization that life can’t be this way, that happiness doesn’t come from this place of a career. Next was my rebellion (maybe more so a mid-life crisis), the phase of forcing a different way of life, rejecting the world I’ve always known in an attempt to create something new. It felt like I was forcing my way into something that didn’t come natural to me, and pushing myself into a career that may not have been the exact right one.
And then… here we are.
No more forcing. No more chasing. No more hustle or grind. Like that energy just dissipated when I realized what I was doing. Now it’s just me, living my slow, intentional, homestead fairytale life—romanticizing every part of my life. I believe now that every day should feel like Aphrodite’s day, and every meal should be an indulgence of epic food and drinks that I choose to make. I believe that every day should be beautiful, a created masterpiece of memories. I believe that every day I should laugh, smile and be so grateful for the life I’ve been given.
A part of me longs to walk through the garden, feel the sun on my face, be pampered with luxury, and see beauty everywhere. My home is my sanctuary—my space, my safety. I keep only what brings me joy and let go of the rest. A clean floor, a clean kitchen, fresh herbs, and flowers everywhere. Neutral colors. Everything I’ve curated and collected over the years inspires me and makes me feel good about my life. I write in my journal for therapy, and share with you what I’ve been going through… which at times can take a while to process.
I don’t post to post, or publish to publish… I also want to look back at these in a couple years, and remember where I was in my mindset, my beliefs and in my life. I don’t feel the need to teach anyone, create programs, or sell PDFs. I just want to be a role model—a quiet space where people can pause, reflect, and remember that they, too, deserve time for themselves. A space to recognize what’s calling them, what excites them, what brings them joy, what feels good, what they truly want to experience. A different kind of empowerment—the kind that whispers, You got this. You can be happy.
I don’t have it all figured out, and I don’t think I ever will. But I do know that I’m closer now than I’ve ever been to the life I truly desire. And that, in itself, is enough
There is so much noise in the world. But when we return to the root of it all—gardening, slow mornings, journaling, stretching—we find the key to a healthier nervous system and, ultimately, a better life. This is the way.
I’m convinced there’s a different energy to it, and I want the rest of this decade to be a testament to this. There’s something to be said about a soft, feminine, magnetic life. Not because I’m “manifesting” it, but because of who I am, and what I believe in. I don’t know how life, health or finances will unfold, but I trust that I don’t need to know. Just like I don’t understand how gravity works but I still believe it’s happening.
What if wealth chooses to follow me on this journey—not through hustle, grind, stress, or chaos—but through trust?
What if God took the wheel of my life and guided me to my happiest, most fulfilled self? The God zone is real, and it has become my center. As I transition my life to align with its principles, I remain convinced: this is the way. The groundedness, the slowness, the feminine, the homesteading, the luxury, the adventure, the experiences. I believe in all of it. But in what form? In what persona?
I was recently inspired by Avicii: I’m Tim on Netflix. The chase—the pursuit of more. More money, more date nights, more sex, more stuff. More, more, more. The chaos we feel when we stray from who we are. The anxiety, the knot in our stomach when we force ourselves to do things we don’t want to do, believing they’ll somehow make us happier. I remember this part of my life, like a hamster wheel I could never get off of.
I questioned who I am, why I’m here, and how my life ended up this way. I tried different things, just to feel something other than the numbness I had created for myself. Bound by an emotional code that won’t let me forget who I “am”, breaking the habits that make up my personality felt nearly impossible.
I contradicted myself. I betrayed my younger self. I masked and reshaped myself to fit into the club—though, honestly, what even is the club? How do I know when I’ve "made it into the club"?
And yet, I convinced myself that if I just become someone different, I would feel better about my circumstances. I feed myself lies. I chased what the world told me to chase. Trauma, predictability, self-fulfilling prophecies—repeating cycles I didn’t even recognize that I was trapped in.
The farther I strayed from myself, the harder it was to return. Like a stretched-out elastic band, like a weakened magnetic force. The farther I strayed from myself, the farther I strayed from God.
Avicii wasn’t the first to experience a profound spiritual awakening at a young age. I’ve noticed that everything is happening faster now. Mid-life crises have become quarter-life crises. We’re adapting quickly, but we’re also starving—for true contentment.
The feeling of bliss. Of joy. Of happiness. Watching Avicii’s life unfold, seeing how he began merging Avicii and Tim towards the end—only to separate them once more—it felt so familiar.
What if, instead of chasing more—more fame, more likes, more consumerism—there was a life beyond it all? A life that felt real?
Our true journey begins when we drop everything. The masks. The people-pleasing. The need to prove something to the world. That’s when fulfillment starts—when we strip away what isn’t us, like a purge. A decluttering.
What would our mental, physical, and spiritual health look like if we purged our pain, traumas, self-doubt, self-sacrifices, and baggage? Wouldn’t we breathe easier? Smell fuller? Feel deeper emotions? Take things less personally? Or maybe… not care at all?
Could we, in a way, Marie Kondo our own bodies? Ask ourselves, What brings me joy? Keep that, and discard the rest?
2024 was my year to understand my hormones—especially cortisol. The big picture of things was to understand what brought me more stress, or where I was straying more from myself. And as I started to get back onto the road that was my own, changing my environment was a key component to the totally of the change.
My new environment gave me space to heal, to explore new modalities, to lower my stress, to rewire my patterns, to see the world differently. But maybe—just maybe—my environment wasn’t changing me. Maybe I was changing first, and my environment simply followed.
Which came first—the calm nervous system or the calmer environment? Or are they one and the same?
The softness of life, the beauty of our surroundings—these aren’t accidents. They are gifts from God.
When I see pictures of a life that fuels me, that makes me fall in love… I wonder, What if my environment reflected that?
How would I feel every single day?
These images inspire me to see the world brighter, the be excited for things once more, for the "what if” my life could feel like a fairytale, and my health be at it’s peak.
I imagine a time when the world looked like this, everywhere.
Every morning, I take a few minutes to lay in my bed and imagine what everything will feel like; the taste of the cacao, what I’ll cook for breakfast, how magic will occur today, how I’m provided for, what healing music will be playing in the house, what herbs will I use in mu cooking and most importantly how grateful I am for this life. It’s a simple act, but it anchors me to the present and reminds me of the beauty in slowing down.
True luxury, I've realized, isn't found in a store or a vacation (even though I LOVE to travel)—it’s in the moments that make up our daily lives, something we cultivate. A hot cup of tea at sunrise. A walk barefoot in the grass. The feeling of being present with myself, with no agenda, just gratitude for the moment. This is the life I choose. And this is the life I believe we all deserve
What if surrendering to the flow of life—without trying to control every outcome—was the key to truly finding peace? I’ve found that the more I let go of the need to dictate everything, the more I find myself exactly where I need to be.
Always with love,
Stephanie
If you’re reading this, I invite you to pause and reflect. What are the things in your life that you’ve been chasing, and how can you begin to let go of them? What does surrender look like for you? How can you create a life that feels more like a fairytale, without the pressure of perfection?